Monday, October 15, 2012

Advice for Hijabi beginners (non-sugar-coated)

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After the African millionaires desperately throwing their life savings at me, the most common emails I get are from girls thinking about wearing hijab and wanting some advice. I'm not going to beat about the bush, I am the worst person to ask for advice when it comes to anything, let alone a religious subject. My opinions regarding hijab have definitely changed over the past few years and of course, I am not a scholar so my views are often riddled with bias and influenced by my state of mind at any given time. Having said that, as so many people have asked, I decided I should make a post giving anyone thinking of wearing hijab a few pieces of advice, things I kind of wish someone had told me.
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1. Wouldn't advise you to overhaul your wardrobe the minute you start covering your hair. I did that and it didn't go well - take your clothing transition slowly.

2. It is a piece of cloth, not magic: don't expect to suddenly become divinely religious. Please don't act it either, it's so off-putting.

3. One of the biggest shocks I got when I began to mix with Muslims was realising just how bitchy a lot of hijabis can be. Some are nice, but don't expect to suddenly discover a "sisterhood" that you weren't part of before you wore hijab. You weren't part of it because nobody is. It doesn't exist.

4. Keep reminding yourself that you are wearing it for the pleasure of Allah (SWT) and not for people.

5. Hijab is not about 'modesty', it's about doing what Allah (SWT) commands you to do. You can be modest without covering your hair and you can be immodest in a niqaab.

6. Be prepared for some interesting questions/comments. Some recent ones I've had (from non-Muslim men) include 'are you wearing a wig under that?', 'I bet you don't wear that to the beach.. you don't do you?', 'how long is your hair and have you dyed it?' and 'what would happen if I pulled the end of your.. headpiece?' HEADPIECE.

7. Be confident! It doesn't matter how you dress as long as you are confident and nice, people will like and respect you. And if they don't, it's not your problem.

8. Be cautious of judging the way other Muslim girls dress and act. It has nothing to do with you. Anyway, they might actually be much better than you.

9. Once it's on  you become a walking representation of Islam (like it or not), which is a huge responsibility, especially if you turn into one of those hijabis that find it impossible to smile.

10. I beg you don't start dissing advising hijabis on the Internet about how 'haram' they are and telling them how they should and should not be dressing. People did this with me a lot at the start of my blog when I did not wear the hijab and it almost put me off the idea altogether.

11. Allah (SWT) judges our scales of good deeds in relation to our bad deeds. Hijab will increase your good deeds but it is not the be all and end all of your deen. Just another good thing to do.

12. You will probably, at some point after wearing the hijab, want to take it off. I would strongly advise you to stick with it simply because if you do there will come a moment when you think 'I'm really glad I didn't take it off'. 'Jihad al nafs' was never supposed to be easy, so don't instantly succumb to your inner desires - they are almost always fleeting.

13. I wouldn't even think about hijab if I didn't pray and fast.

The tips are just my opinions and based on my experiences so they may not apply to you but I hope at least some of them helped :)

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